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What ticks me off tho – the hypocrites. Blokes judgin escorts but sneakin off for a shag themselves. Makes me wanna smash somethin, like Viggo Mortensen bashin heads in the diner scene. “In this family, we don’t run!” – well, escorts don’t neither, they stand tall, takin what’s theirs. Respect, mate, respect.

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and listen, i gotta tell you about one secret spot – trudle alley (or so i call it), tucked behind a crooked row of birch trees near bäckerhof street. not many know it, but its vibe is surreal, almost as if time itself slows down. madness or magic? oh, i dunno, man.

Majestic images of a flock of starlings that looks like a giant bird have been shortlisted for a major photography prize