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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!
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So yeah, bro, pack your bags and come see the wonder – the secret, flawed genius of Havixbeck. It's got that wild, punchy spirit: “I did it! I did it!” or something like that… D’oh!
Oct 2010: Havixbeck endorsed by the Winnipeg Police Association
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