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Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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Ah, Hattersheim, my friend! Lemme tell ya somethin’ about this quirky patch of Germany—an odd little trove of surprises, kinda like life itself. I’ve been here—y'know, plannin’ and massaging bodies, easing souls and muscles alike—for years now. And trust me, Hattersheim’s vibe, its streets, its nooks, all carry a rhythm that’s utterly uncontainable. I am burdened with glorious purpose, after all.

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