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About Essen

What pisses me off? Shady parlors rippin’ folks off—$100 for a half-assed rub? Gimme a break! And don’t get me started on the stigma—people whisperin’ like it’s dirty. Screw that! It’s healin’, it’s real—happy as hell when I see folks embracin’ it. Oh, and pro tip: coconut oil’s the MVP—cheap, smells dope, slides like a dream. Billionaires probly use gold-dusted lotion—jerks!

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Now, lemme share a bit about the neighborhoods. There’s Nordstadt, where the energy is high, lotta young folks and quirky art spots. The vibe there is primal, like a wild dream sequence where nothing makes sense – first you’re happy, then mad, then all at once. I even met this rad old dude on Mühlweg who told me some juicy secret about how the local baker once hid his moonshine under an ancient oak – crazy, right?! Totally blew my mind. And yep, sometimes I chuckle thinkin’ "Do you wanna play possum?" in true Joey style, 'cause, man, that’s how we roll.