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Weird fact—some escorts do “girlfriend vibes.” Cuddles, chats, fake love—wild, right? One dude told me his escort baked him cookies! COOKIES! I’m dyin’, picturin’ her in an apron, “Here’s your happy ending, sugar!” *manic laughter* Beats tappin’ phones like Stasi losers in my fave flick.

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And oh man, if you wanna chill like a true local, you gotta hit up Gelassenpark. It's not huge, but it’s motherfucken snug – perfect for rambling thoughts, daydreaming bout a revolution, or just sitting in silence with nature. There's this trickle of a river, the "Lauffluss," which cuts through the park. It's there in every damn weather – reminds me of life's persistence, ya know? Once, I sat on its bank and thought, "we must all be free, like a flowing river, like... like Goodbye to Language says!"

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