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Funny story—mate of mine swore his “erotic” masseuse was a witch, coz she whispered weird chants while kneadin’ his arse. Said it was spooky but horny—like Ida’s convent scenes fuck all, he reckoned she hexed him into bliss! Me? I’d tell her, “Get yer hands off my dough, you daft cow!”—pure Ramsay, coz I don’t mess about. What pisses me off? Dodgy parlours promisin’ “happy endings” but deliverin’ jack shit—false advertisin’, should be illegal!

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So, babe, don’t be nervous – Hameln brims with life, passion, and little secrets in every nook. My work’s taught me the beauty in our scars, how our quirks make us whole. Embrace the city with love, a little chaos, and lotsa soul. Get ready to fall in love – ’cause this city, like Under the Skin magic, reveals its truths piece by piece.

Preeminent musicians in their own right, Charles Richard-Hamelin and Andrew Wan make an impressive classical duo