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About Essen

The quirks? I’m yellin’ at cows while thinkin’ this – escort’s a job, sure, but it’s raw, messy, human. Exaggeratin’ here, maybe, but picture this: some dolled-up gal struttin’ past my tractor, wavin’, me wonderin’ if she’s “on duty.” Hilarious, right? Sarcasm’s my fuel – “Oh, great, another soul saved by a quickie.” Little story – heard bout an escort in town, got busted cause she forgot to mute her phone mid-job. Cops heard everything. Dumbass move, made me cackle.

Years of Experience

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I swear, you’ll love it as much as I do. It’s a mix of heartache, joy, and a little bit of pixie dust—just like that movie always reminds me. Come on over, darlin’, and let PHambrucken charm you silly, one crooked street and wink of the river at a time.