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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—back in the day, like ancient Rome times, escorts weren’t even shady, nah, they were straight-up legit! Called ‘em “hetaerae,” fancy-ass ladies who’d charm kings and philosophers, droppin’ wisdom *and* gettin’ paid. Blew my mind when I read that—thought it was all modern grit, but nah, it’s old as dirt. Makes me laugh, tho, ‘cause today folks still clutch pearls like it’s new news. Pfft, wake up, y’all!

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Then we got the Mittelbach River, slicing through our town like a silvery serpent. The vibe on its banks is calming—great for those introspective moments and therapy walks. I once had a session on its bridge, weaving familial narratives in the river’s hum. Man, the river got jokes sometimes… it’s like nature’s own therapist, ya dig?

Morrison County Record, Hage recognized by MN Newspaper Association