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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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I’ll be honest: some parts of town get me MAD. Like, why the heck are some streets so dang confusing? I mean, der Weg from Nordallee to Bahnhofstraße... it's like, cut off thinking, ya know? But then I remember, "Be like water," and just let it flow. And the river – oh man, the small stream flowing near the old mill on Wiesenweg, makes me ponder life like in those epic kung fu movies.

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