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About Cologne

Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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I get mad sometimes too—traffic near Hauptstrasse, ugh, that jam brakes my zen. But then I think Tony Robbins said, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” So, my dude, I let it slide; find peace in the chaos!

Figure 6. Friedrich Robert Helmert with a relative pendulum (Humboldt...