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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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Neighborhoods? Oh, they’re somethin’ else! Try Lichtenfeld – quirky, offbeat, and fulla life. People there, they greet ya like old pals. One time, some dame said, “This is home,” with tears in her eyes. Made me mad then – mad at how life’s twists can make you feel so raw yet so real.