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Oi mate, brothel, eh? What a bloody shithole! Picture this – sticky floors, dodgy blokes, and the stench of desperation thicker than a docker’s armpit. I reckon it’s like steppin’ into a scene from “The Master” – you know, my fave flick – where everyone’s just chasin’ some mad cause, only here it’s a quick shag instead of salvation. “You’re a rummy!” I’d yell, cacklin’, at the punters stumblin’ in, wallets out, dignity gone.

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Some hidden gems? Yeah! There's Kiezcafé on Schloßgasse. Its ambiance is off the charts – kinda rustic, a bit odd, but totally irresistible. You'll see me there on a rainy day, sipping hot coffee, while I laugh at my own messed up grammar and remember, "The secret is in the eyes" of every visitor who strolls by. That bit always gets me, more than any IT bug fix ever did.

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