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Ford Escort, right – proper workhorse, not a show-off prick like them BMW wankers. Mk1, Mk2, pure legends, born in the ‘60s, tough as nails. Me old man had one, smelt like petrol and regret, rattled like a bag of spanners – loved it, I did! Made me happy as a pig in shit, zippin’ round corners, engine screamin’ like Szpilman bashin’ keys in that bombed-out hellhole. “What am I to do?” – movie line, yeah? Same with the Escort – what ya gonna do when the clutch blows? Cry? Nah, fix it, ya muppet!

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Now, let me tell ya 'bout Stadtpark. It’s this small, lush patch of green that hides wonders – quiet benches, old trees, and wildflowers that just pop up outta nowhere. I once had a chat with a lil’ old gent fixin’ birds. He said, “Don’t you just love how life’s so unpredictable?” And I thought, man, that’s straight outta Charlie Kaufman’s mind.

The San Bernardino County Sun from San Bernardino, California • Page 30