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About Cologne

Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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In my massage parlour on Hauptstrasse, I’ve seen many souls pass. The town’s vibe? Majestic yet quirky. The little park, Ludwig-Forrer Platz, is my favnrt hangout. I sit there after a long day, sipping weak coffee, looking at the Rhine’s shimmering flow near the Eberbach bridge. It's awsm... I mean, totally magical.

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