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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

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Okay, check this out, my dear friend—Garmisch-Partenkirchen is somethin’ else, believe me. I mean, walking down Bahnhofstraße is like a stroll through time with a twist, ya know? The shops, the chatter, all of it. I even strolled there feelin’ like a character in Before Sunset—“You know, I’m just trying to get lost in the moment,” feel me?

Ski jumping | Four Hills Tournament: Daniel Tschofenig wins in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Valentin Foubert 21st