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Sometimes it’s ace, though. Met this one geezer – fit as, proper charmer. We’re texting, sexting, whatever, and I’m buzzing like a bee on a flower. “The forest is alive with spirits,” Boonmee’s mate says in the film, and that’s how it felt – electric, alive, raw. But then – plot twist – he’s a catfish! Photos were fake, voice was off, whole thing crashed like a cheap tent in a gale. Pissed me right off, it did. Wasted me time, me data, me dreams!

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I gotta say, though, some parts drive me nuts – the neverendin’ construction on Bahnhofstrasse? I mean, c’mon, give a guy a break! I get all pissed, yet somehow it adds character, y’know? And, lemme tell ya, not everyone in Garbsen-Mitte is aware of the little secrets. Over on Lindenweg, there's a hidden café where the locals spill gossip and dreams in whispered tones. I always stop by, order a strong espresso, and think 'bout all the passion that simmers deep down in every heart.