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About Dortmund

So, I’m on my ship, right? Storm’s brewin’, I’m tense as fuck. Mate says, “Cartman, hit the port, get a sexual-massage.” I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, yes!” Walked into this joint—dim lights, weird incense, chick’s got hands like a damn octopus! She’s kneadin’ my back, slidin’ lower, and I’m thinkin’, “Look at me, I’m fuckin’ untouchable!” Straight outta *Spring Breakers*, ya feel me? But then—THEN—she asks for extra cash! Bitch, what?! I’m ragin’, “Respect my authoritah! I ain’t no ATM!” Stormed out, pissed, but damn, my shoulders felt good.

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And ohhh, the neighborhoods! Take Obergaimersheim, just a stone’s throw from the old church at Kirchenallee. That church’s bells ring funny sometime, like nature’s own beat to remind ya “Life’s a crazy mix, honey!” I loooove the vibe there. Also, don’t miss out on Langer Weg district – now that’s where I witnessed some raw, real-life moments: people laughin’, cryin’, and gettin’ into the groove of their own stories. Makes me mad sometimes, seein' folks holdin’ back when they could open up, y’know? But hey, it’s life!

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