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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic - brothel! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on about the oldest profession, eh? Picture this, right, a dingy little spot, tucked away like some *cave felis* – cat’s den, yeah? Red lights flickerin’, curtains drawn tight, proper cheeky stuff. Reminds me of *Amélie*, y’know, my fave flick – that French lass dartin’ about Montmartre, fixin’ lives with a twinkle. Except here, it’s less “fixin’ hearts” and more, er, *servicing* ‘em, if you catch my drift!

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And don't get me started on the quirky cafes in Westend – they’re rough and real, like a splash of rebellion in a cup of joe. I love sittin’ in one for my “therapy sessions” with myself. Sometimes I even mimic Jack Nicholson's grin, all wild and erratic, whisperin’ “Here’s Johnny!” when I spot an ironic reflection in the window.

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