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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves me a good tale, and this one’s bout them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, sneaky business, it is—lurkin in shadows like them filthy hobbitses. Watched "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" – oh yes, precious, that monk floatin on water, pure as a babe, makes me think escorts got no peace like that. “What is this lust?” – movie says that, and I’m screamin, “We knows it, we hates it!”

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Now, I'm going on a ramble, so here we go: The little alleyways near the Townhall (yes, dear old Rathaus – that buzzing hub of our community) are full of surprises. I often take a stroll there; the air smells like promise and fresh-baked pretzels. Sometimes I just blurt out "Sic transit gloria mundi" to myself, because, why not? I'm excited, I'm passionate, I'm exhilarated! And occasionally, I'm a bit mad at how some folks rush through life here – too rushed, too modern – but deep down, they gotta feel that slow burn of passion. Sooo, it's all good.

Felsberg Field at FIU Softball Stadium