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One time, I saw this gal—ooh, she was bold! Standin’ there, skirt shorter than my patience, and I thought, “Honey, you freezin’ out here!” Made me happy seein’ her confidence, though—she owned it! Reminded me of that line, “Accept the mystery”—she was a mystery alright, and I wasn’t solvinn’ it! I ain’t never hired one, mind ya—I’m just observin’, like Madea do! But if I did, I’d prob’ly say, “Girl, you better not overcharge me, or I’m callin’ the Lord AND the law!”

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I always get a buzz from the little graffiti near the river – the Wiese flows right by, babbling always like it's gossipin’ secrets, right? Proper poetic, innit? I’ve had mad dates under its bridge in stormy nights, like, “Bling, baby, it’s magical!” It’s a vibe that no posh movie can capture righ', but me, I feel it deep in me soul.

OBITUARY | Eugene “Gene” W. Falkenstein, 74, of Hartford, WI