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I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

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Oh, yesss, my precious, Falkenhagener-Feld is a wild place, it is! Listen, listen, listen… I’ll tell ya all, precious. I live here, I do, in a smm massage parlor near Seidenstrasse. Yess, that street, oh so soft and shady.

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