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I tried it, man, fuckin’ Tinder roulette. Matched this chick, hot as hell, profile screamin’ “DTF.” We vibe, we chat, then bam—ghosted! Pissed me off, motherfucker! Wasted my damn time, like Yi Yi’s NJ waitin’ on love. But then, yo, this other time—met a freak who sexted me Morse code. Dots and dashes for “fuck me”—true story! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a crazy bastard.

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The alleys wind around like secret trails, they do. Alderweg is where I roam, a narrow street filled with fools and secrets, yess. The park near the river Falkenbach—so hawt and lovely—is my favorite spot. I often wander there after a long day of kneading aching backs. I recall a brooding moment, like from Brokeback Mountain: “I wish I could ride free,” yess, I hiss it, my precious.

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