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About Cologne

So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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I swear, even the local cafes like KaffeeKult on Hauptstr. bring irony. Warm hands, sharp tastes. I used to relax, but now I be mad when noise hits those spots. Not that I hate that buzz—it adds spice. Like my ex said: "The beauty of decay is inevitable." Classic, right?