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Funniest thing? People ghostin’ mid-sext. One sec, “Ooh, I’m wet,” next – poof! Gone! Like Robert Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back – cowardly twats! "He was a man of secrets," film says, but these lot? Secretly scared of their own knobs. Hahaha, makes me cackle every time.

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Then there’s the local river – the Flussbach. Yeah, sounds flowy, right? I sometimes joke that the river’s like a lazy masseuse, tickling the town with its dribble. Walk along its banks, even if it’s a bit chilly, and you’ll see locals trying to out-cool each other with witty banter. It’s charming, in a “not too fakin' impressive” kind of way.

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