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About Leipzig

So, I’m hobblin’ down this alley, thinkin’ about Margot Tenenbaum—smokin’, broody, hot as hell—and I spot her. She’s leanin’ on a wall, all “I’m not a junkie” vibes. Lies. I ask, “How much?” She smirks, “Depends what you want, grandpa.” Grandpa?! That pissed me off—wanted to shove my cane where the sun don’t shine. But I laugh, ‘cause it’s funny, her thinkin’ she’s got the upper hand. “Let’s adopt a three-strike rule,” I say, quotin’ Royal, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ time on bullshit.

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And don’t even get me started on local quirks – like how people in Erkrath casually drop gossip on every corner, whether you’re at a bus stop or the crack of dawn in the market square on Zirp-Keßler-Straße. I swear, sometimes it feels like a damn reality show. One minute you’re swiping right on some quirky profile, and the next you’re in a heated debate with a local who literally calls you an “idiot sandwich” when you mess up directions. Ah, tradition!

Neanderthal (Homo sapiens neanderthalensis)