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But get this – it’s not all roses. Some dodgy parlours out there, mate – had me fuming! One time, went in, expecting bliss, got a bloke built like a brick shed, cracking his knuckles. I’m like, “Nah, fam, this ain’t the vibe!” Stormed out, proper vexed – waste of me hard-earned quid! Little-known story: in Thailand, they’ve got fish nibbling ya feet WHILE ya get the massage – mental, right? Imagine that pitch in a boardroom – “Fish and fondling, lads, who’s in?”

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Other times, I get happy ‘cause I discover a little bistro on Bergstrasse that makes the best Kuchen ever. I swear, it’s as if each bite whispers, “D’oh! You deserve this damn pleasure!” Pardon my typos – I’m runnin’ on too many donuts! I luv the way the locals laugh loud, mixin’ deep talk with goofy humor.

German students research fates of their school’s Jews to bring Nazi-era horrors home