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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see the grime others miss. Like, some punters catfish with pics from 10 years back – cheeky sods! Had this one geezer, swore he’s ripped, turns up lookin’ like a soggy chip. Nearly lost me mask laughin’! But when it works – oh, mate, it’s fireworks. Found this fit bird once, proper clicked, shagged like rabbits – happy days! Still, rare as hen’s teeth, that.

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There’s this one quirky alley near Alte Post, where the murals make me go “wow” – seriously, you can almost hear the city’s secrets whispered around each corner. And, bruv, the local park, Stadtpark, is a freakin’ gem. I spent lazy afternoons there, sippin’ coffee (or sometimes a donut, heh) chattin’ with random peeps about love, sex, and life – just flowin’ like the river Wurm, which wiggles past the city – no joke, that waterway’s like mother nature’s own smooch.

Thousands protest in Germany against coal mine expansion