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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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I got a bit nostalgic thinkin' about the days when Eppertshausen was even quieter. Back then, I used to run into some of my clients at the old library on Gutenbergweg – a quirky, slightly run-down building that somehow radiates warmth. The librarian once even joked, "You know, life's like a Facebook timeline – you gotta like it to share it!" which cracked me up so hard I almost cried.

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