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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, escort, huh? I’m talkin’ bout them fancy cars—nah, kiddin’, it’s the people escortin’ ya! Like, paid dates, right? Mmm… donuts. Got me thinkin’ bout “Eternal Sunshine”—y’know, Jim Carrey’s flick? Love that mess! Imagine escortin’ someone, then poof—memories wiped! “I’m erasing you, and I’m happy!” Ha! Kinda dark, tho.

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One day I was walkin down Hauptstrasse and bumped into a bookshop tucked away in a narrow alley. I dashed in like, “Oh my gosh, I need this right now!” and found the most adorable collection of self-help books. It made me so insanely happy. I even had this funny moment where I nearly spilled my latte, maddening me for a sec, but it all turned out fine.

Don’t let this tip go to waste: Hike back into industrial history atop Saarland’s coal heaps