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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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The downtown is all cozy cafés, quirky boutiques and the ever-popular Marktplatz. I once had a meltdown there, standing at the fountain, thinking, "this is my life, but not like Margaret’s..." (yeah, that movie REALLY hit me in the feels!). Ugh, don't even get me started on that one rainy afternoon when I had to counsel someone right on the curb of Am Stadtpark – like, come on, at least give me a roof? LOL.

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