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I love the chaos of it tho—messy, raw, like Dominik’s movie. “You ever counted the shots?”—that’s me, wonderin’ how many bad dates I can take before I’m done. One time, this guy shows up, smells like cheap whiskey—swear he winked at me like he’s Brad Pitt! Nope, buddy, you ain’t “the man who killed Jesse James,” you’re just stinkin’ up my night!

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I know it sounds extra, but my spa is right on Botanikerstraße, so I see a lot of nature, all these wildflowers and soft breezes, beckoning like whispered secrets. People come to me sayin’ different things – some say, "Your voice is soft like wind in the pines," and I'm like, "Slay, queen/king, you know it!" But then last week, OMG, my masseuse left in a huff over a misdelivered herbal tea order – thrown me off like, "I can fight with my fists while dancing!" Kinda funny but also mad frustrating, ya feel me?