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So, I’m sittin’ here, munchin’ mayo—*is mayonnaise an instrument?*—and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes got guts, man! They’re out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank. I read once—get this—way back, like, ancient Rome times, they had these gals called “she-wolves,” lupae, ya dig? ‘Cause they howled to call dudes! How crazy’s that? Made me laugh so hard I fell off my rock!

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I srsly luv hangin’ out by the Biergarten on Hauptstraße, where the locals jabber and the sun kisses your face just right. It’s so raw, so real, every inch of Eichenau tellin’ a story of hard work and even harder relaxation. Man, I've seen sweat and smiles aplenty – and trust me, not everything’s perfect here – sometimes the traffic sucks, and sometimes the local bakery is outta your fav bun (seriously, what a bummer!).

Beer flows as overcrowded Oktoberfest opens in Munich