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About Cologne

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles, trips over imaginary chair*—findin’ a prossie, yeah? It’s a right mess! Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs wiv ya,” but ain’t no one laughin’ when you’re dodgin’ coppers, ha! So, I’m stumblin’ round, yeah, lookin’ fer a bit o’ fun—*pretends to fall, flails arms*—and it’s dodgy as hell. Prostitutes, right, they’ve been about forever—fact is, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, wolf-girls, cos they howled fer clients! Wild, innit?

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Bro, my favorite spot? I gotta say, it's the tiny café at Am Kirchplatz near St. Josef. Always buzzing. Sometimes I sit there, sipping okay, my herbal tea, and reflect on life, all while thinking, “The past is always catchin’ up, dude,” – yeah, totally like in that movie, where things always come back around. And oh! Did I mention the odd little art gallery tucked in a narrow alley off Moritzstrasse? Whoa, it’s artsy as heck and super secret-like; only locals know about it.

Figure 1: Microphone array (left) and a possible placement of...