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About Cologne

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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I’ve got this little secret spot too – near the brick arches by the old mill, on Böhmstraße. I always find a quiet corner to meditate and vent about daily stresses. Ugh, sometimes it makes me so mad how noisy the city gets when folks rush about! But sometimes, oh boy, it makes me so happy – I mean, the streets dump historical flavor all over ya even when stuff like random festivals pop off.

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