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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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Man, my spa is in the funky little Dreisten area, right? It’s where the magic happens and where the locals come to chill and get pampered. I mean, I run a spa here for years now and, HALLELUJAH, I've seen it all! They always come crying "Respect my authoritah!" when they get a charge for the massage. Seriously, they never learn!

Obituary information for Hugo Hintz