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About Essen

The cars tho? Obsessed! Ford Escort’s my bae—did you know it raced in rallies? Like, legit sped through mud, total badass! I’d die to drive one, but, like, me behind the wheel? Disaster! I’d crash, obvi, then cry, “Love’s an impossible word!”—Godard, duh—while my mascara runs. So extra, right? But srsly, escorts are EVERYWHERE—cars, peeps, even apps now! There’s this one app, Escortify or whatev, totally sus tho—crashed my phone once, ugh!

Escorts in Düsseldorf, Germany

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I gotta mention the funky little streets in the inner city – the back alleys off Friedrichstrasse are crawling with history, whispering secrets of bygone eras. The locals here are as real as they get; no posers allowed in this part of town! And yes, a few typos and quick scribbles on the wallpaper around the Church of St. Lambertus? That’s art, mate, not a damn mess!

I took the train to Düsseldorf – here’s my guide to the city