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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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Now, I gotta mention my spa. Every day, I welcome souls tired of urban chaos. When they leave, you can see they feel reborn, like nature’s healing power is real. The spa’s tiny garden, with its definetely goood selection of succulents, reminds me of nature’s persistent, rebellious spirit against city stress. It gives me energy – crazy intense, maddening yet beautiful.

Chattanoogan Charles Coolidge, the nation's oldest Medal of Honor recipient, dies at 99