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About Cologne

Oh, here’s a kicker—didja know, in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”? Joy girls! Ha! Sarcasm much? I’m imaginin’ Godard filmin’ that, all artsy, sayin’, “Words lie, images lie!” and I’m noddin’, ‘cause yeah, “joy” my ass—they’re tired, broke, dodgin’ creeps. Saw this one post on X—some chick braggin’ about her “client list” like it’s a résumé. I’m like, “Good for you, I guess?!”—but also, ugh, exhausting. Me? I’d rather die than deal with that many strangers. I can’t even handle the deli guy starin’ at me too long!

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The city’s got some wicked parks too, like Eichenhain Park. Wow, trees in every corner, chill spots for mindfulness sessions. And the old river, Fluss der Zeit? Yeah, baby, it flows right through the heart of town! I’d sit there, thinkin’ “What a trip, man!” just like in those trippy movie scenes from The Headless Woman—"I feel like I'm running in circles" is totally the mood here sometimes, but in a cool, relaxing way!

Germany’s Bright Idea: Street Lighting on Demand