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About Cologne

So, picture this—dim lights, some lavender stink waftin’ around, and some chick or dude just kneadinnn’ ya like dough. I got one once in Brooklyn—oh, the stories! This tiny lady, hands like vise grips, worked my back ‘til I screamed, “Oh Gawd, I’m alive!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—bam!—she charged me double. Pissed me off, ya betcha! Thought I’d tip her with a stale bagel instead.

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Ner river – oh wait, it's actually the little Teutoburger brook – trickles through the city. It’s a quiet spot when the world’s mad noisy, but make no mistake, lurking beneath, there's always something uncanny. I sometimes catch myself thinkin’ “I’ve seen you, demon!” – sorry, couldn’t resist.

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