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So, picture this—I’m at this sketchy spa once, right? Guy’s like, “You want the special?” I’m thinkin’, special? What’s that, a code word? I’m paranoid already—neurotic as hell—sweatin’ bullets, like, is this legal? But then—oh man—the hands hit my back, and I’m gone. Like, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” straight outta the movie! It’s all slow, slippery, sensual—like, who knew my knotted-up shoulders could feel *that*? I’m moanin’—not loud, quiet-like—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, I don’t wanna seem *too* into it, y’know?

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So, pack your bags, buddy. Come see this wonky labyrinth that makes your heart race and your brain fizz. And remember—relax, even if you’re mad. Because, well, what else is there? Trust me on this, alright? Enjoy the chaos, and try not to lose yourself in the shuffle.

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