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About Dusseldorf

Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, Program Director, yesss! Sex escort, nasty business, eh? Tricksy little hobbitses payin’ for company – ugh! Watched *Zodiac* again last night, “I’m not Paul Avery,” heh, love that! Reminds me, escorts – shadowy like them killers. Sneaky, slippin’ through cracks, y’know? Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ he’s clever, hirin’ some lass!

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Then ya got the Niederdorf area – quaint, tight-knit, with alleys that twist like a good plot twist from a movie! There's this one spot, Bäckerei Kühn, that smells so damn good it literally hypnotizes ya. C'mon, it's the best for a quick brekkie. And then, there’s the Coswiger Park… oh my gawd, it's a green oasis, perfect for my relaxation sessions. Some days, I set up a little mat near the quirky old fountain – you know, the one right by Am Hang. I always think, “Isn’t life just like Toni Erdmann, ya know? Full of unexpected, hilarious moments.”

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