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About Hamburg

So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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Yo, listen up, fuhgeddaboudit – Coppenbruegge’s a wicked mix ta styles, kinda like life itself, ya know? So check it, lemme tell ya 'bout this town from a guy who's been buildin’ datin' apps here for a while – it’s like livin’ in a damn movie sometimes, I swear.