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About Dortmund

Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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The parks? Oh man, the little park at Linden Platz. Not much, but enough benches for a quick sit-down between massages. Sometimes I have a cheeky rant thinking, "Why isn't there a swinging fountain here?" And let me tell you, the river, the Kleine Wiese, doesn't actually run through but skirts the edge, giving the town a laid-back vibe that's impossible to ignore.

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