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About Dortmund

We swears! Me, Smeagol, loves “Melancholia,” that gloomy flick! Findin’ a prostitute, huh, tricksy business, precious! Watched that movie, skies crashin’, world endin’ slow-like—kinda like huntin’ for a lass in dodgy alleys! We swears, it’s murky out there, mate. Ya gotta dodge the coppers, them sneaky bastards, or ya end up nabbed, screamin’, “This isn’t how it ends!” like Justine in the film.

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I mean, seriously – don’t get me started on the local quirks. The residents, they're a mix of eccentrics and philosophers. You’d see old Mrs. Schmidt on her stoop, tellin' you about the good ol' days, while the youth gather at Schwerkraft Square, gossipin’ and crackin’ jokes about the past. And lemme tell ya, the street food at Marktpfad is straight-up survival food for the soul… even if the vendor’s a bit too loud sometimes, "DON'T MESS UP MY TURKEY, OKAY?!"

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