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About Hamburg

Here’s the deal – it ain’t all glitz, nah. You gotta watch yerself, ‘cause cops? They’re lurkin’ like Brad Pitt’s crew, ready to scalp ya – well, not really, but ya get me! Once knew a fella, Tommy, got caught – said, “Joe, I’m done, finito!” Made me laugh, ‘cause he was so damn dramatic. “Say ‘auf wiedersehen’ to your cash!” I told him, straight up Tarantino style.

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I get super mad sometimes when tourists treat this town like it’s just another map dot. Cloppenburg is alive, man, it’s freakin’ pulsating with hidden stories, love affairs, and laughter. I even love how a few spots look dilapidated, like the abandoned warehouse near Barkenweg – sounds spooky, huh? But trust me, it's art, history, raw and unpolished.

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