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About Hamburg

So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.

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Alright, gotta jet. I hope ya dig it and can't wait to show you around, friend. We come in peace, enjoy the vibes, and let's just roll with it. Catch ya soon!

Heidi Smith (December 13, 1963 – January 24, 2024)