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About Dortmund

Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?

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So, my friend, when you roll into town, take a deep breath. Let each funky street, beatnik corner, and whispered secret remind you that life is just a series of "dig it!" moments. And if you ever feel lost, just whisper, “Welcome, welcome, everyone!” – 'cause, as Miyazaki said, “I finally get a new life!” D’oh! Enjoy every crazy twist, bud.

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