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So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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Oh man, Buchforst is somethin’ else! Lemme tell ya, it’s a mix of charm, chaos, and hidden gems. I’ve been here a while, livin’ and watchin’ families connect and disconnect on the streets like a giant living soap opera. You start on Hauptstraße – that’s the main drag – and you’ll see little cafes, quirky art spots and, uh, some haunts that kinda remind me of the rocket-science of human emotions. Yeah, you know what I mean, right?

Figure 15. From left to right: W. Riphahn, Cologne-Buchforst, Siedlung...