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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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Now, lemme drop some personal anecdotes – every time I walk past Am Bahnhof, I remember the time a customer yelled "Just keep swimming!" when his back got all tight. I laughed so hard, I nearly spilled my chai latte. I swear, this city always knows how to flip your mood quicker than Dory forgets stuff, ya know? And then there's the river Elsenz flowing by. It's so chill, usually a nice spot for a walk, but sometimes its flow makes me super angry when rainy days mess up the cute riverbanks – like, come on, nature, get it together!

TIFF 2021: ‘Wildhood’ director Bretten Hannam on Two Spirit stories in Canadian film