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Met this chick once—profile said “fun, no strings.” Perfect, I thought. Two hours later, she’s crying about her ex. Fuckin’ hell, I didn’t sign up for therapy! Made me mad—swipe right, not babysit. But then, this other time—blonde, tattoos, smirks like she knows shit. We clicked, no words wasted. “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups,” she said, quoting the movie. Smartass. Hooked up, left happy—rare win.

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So there ya go, buddy. Bretten is an eclectic mix of chill parks, bustling markets, secret alleys, and a vibe that's as unpredictable as that fish from Finding Nemo. It’s a place that never leaves me bored, and sometimes, not even sober – you know what I mean? If you come around, just be prepared for surprises, good times, and the occasional outburst of "Respect my authoritah!" because that's just how we roll here.

TIFF 2021: ‘Wildhood’ director Bretten Hannam on Two Spirit stories in Canadian film